WHEN YOUR BEST FRIEND GETS MARRIED BEFORE YOU DO

To be really honest, this kind of attitude stinks...and am not beating down anyone but if you say you really trust God the way you say you do then you won’t have to feel bad or jealous when your best friend gets married before you do. I get it, both of you have grown up together since you have been kids, you both finished school together, you have graduated at the same time..got your first jobs at the same time and now you expected that you will get married about the same time and now you are disappointed because not only are you not about to get married but also you're  single to the bone,no a man in sight – you feel as though you have been left behind.

But here's the thing, that our timing is in God’s hand.. its not in our hands or in something floating in the universe. God is orchestrating our lives in different and unique ways and you can't afford to match up and photocopy you bff’s life.

You know when your best friend expects your 150% support and she puts you in the lineup or as her maid of honor, and just because she’s about to cross the ‘I do’ line before you do, so now you keep bringing up petty arguments on which dress or which color the maids should put on, you want to take over control the of the marriage preparations or you say things like “ thank God I ain't getting married..that married life is like being on a leash forever..”

Our worth and values isn't in who gets the ring first among our friends, you worth and value is what God says you are period. With or without a ring, God has a divine assignment for you to fulfill and an amazing plan for you to enjoy life and have it in abundance (John 10:10). Trust God to write your love story at His appointed time instead of scrolling up and down you phone book trying to drag some dude with you to the wedding because you can't afford to look single. Your reputation to not look single needs to die..less of you and more of God.

 So what if you are in your 30’s or 40’s and  you have attended everyone’s wedding including you younger siblings, and everyone has given up on attending your wedding (probably even your parents)..God hasn't forgotten neither has He given up on you getting married. He knows the desires in your heart for the spouse you want...all we have to do is to be about our Fathers business and have fun while doing it. The bible tells us to; Seek first the Kingdom and all these things will be added unto you.

God is not running out of great husbands and wives when He blesses others with marriage partners. So trust God and chill, if He gave you His one and only Son won't He also give us freely all other things (Romans 8:32).Let's truly rejoice with them that rejoice.

God’s got you and He knows what's best for you. Trust Him.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

NO MORE LOOKING BACK…

There is a place God has delivered you from and you are still looking back and wishing you could go back and have the things you used that God separated you from. In your heart you secretly miss the clubbing, the friends you used to spend all your time gossiping and backbiting with others, the boyfriend who you completely loved but treated you like second best (an option)- and all the while God was whispering in your heart to let him go. If you could be truly honest with yourself, you really feel that you had more freedom before you got saved , chasing worldly things, and whatever you felt like doing you did- no one stopped you.

The Israelites went through the same thing in the wilderness. They began to complain and grumble and in Numbers 11:5-6…its says : “We remember the fish we ate in Egypt that cost nothing, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.  But now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.” They wanted to go back to what they used to, the melons, the onions –but they forgot they were in bondage that was in Egypt. One thing I have come to learn is that the enemy will remind you of the how good life was back then but he won’t remind you of the afflictions that made you cry out to God daily to deliver you. 

The enemy will remind you how Friday nights used to be popping with you squad but he will not remind you how empty and lost you used to feel on the inside. He will remind you how great of a boyfriend he used to be taking you out to classy places or taking care of some of your bills but the enemy will not remind you how treated like another option  or like his object. He will remind you how gorgeous that ex-girlfriend was and all your male friends looked at you with envy but the enemy will not remind you how materialistic she was, or even how she kept seducing you into sin when you desired to live a godly and righteous life unto God.

I am here to remind you that the life God is calling you to have is far much greater than the life He delivered you from. Don’t fall for the lie of the enemy- Colossians 1:13 says we have been rescued from the dominion of darkness and we have been transferred into the Kingdom of the Son (Jesus). The devil is mad you got rescued from his hand because he was about to sift you like wheat but know you have escaped and all he wants is to bring you back to that low place, to that place of oppression and a place of defeat. 

Its time shake away the memories of our Egypt- the house of bondage, even if you enjoyed a few things from your past, you’ve got to know that where God is taking you is much better- it’s a land  that flows milk and honey. For all the things you lost, God is going to replace with far much better, but we need to stop secretly desiring the ungodly lifestyles we used to live that only lead to death and embrace the plans and purposes that God has for us.

Even if you are in the wilderness, a dry place and it looks like nothing good is happening, you need to trust God with your whole heart even if things are not the way you expected them to be. Our part is to live an upright, godly life –not by our own power but by the power of the Holy Spirit- and see how God will do signs and wonders through our lives and all people around us who thought we had lost it and are psychos or we are a bunch of boring people, they shall see that we are called by the name of the Lord and they shall fear you (Deutronomy 28:10).

Let us close the door to every compromising spirit that seeks to draw us back into bondage and into sin and habits that do not glorify God.

It is not in vain to live a righteous life, it is not useless to live according the standards of the Word of God rather than the standards of the world. God will honor you when you honor him with your life (1 Samuel 2:30). 

A Season of Separation

Has God laid it in your heart to leave some friendships and relationships that are clearly toxic and are clearly not moving you forward either in your walk with GOD  and your life in general? Are there times when you feel as though you should draw back from a certain relationship because it is either causing you to stumble into sin or it destroying your self-esteem and discouraging you from moving forward into the dreams God has laid it in your heart?

I know it can get really difficult to let go or even step back from those close people that you have known for over 20 years, since you were young. Whoever God is trying to separate you from let His plans and purposes prevail because the enemy (Satan) could be using them to hold back your destiny. It could be your childhood friend, your bff whom you totally love more than anything else, or your girlfriend/boyfriend who you have dated since forever or that colleague at work who you’ve known for a few months or even that prayer partner at church who you share with everything and you always sits next to church.

Jesus had the same experience with one of his closest disciples, Simon, when He was getting ready to Jerusalem to be tortured and to be nailed on the cross...Simon tried to stop him saying such a thing cannot be done to Jesus. Immediately, Jesus rebuked him sharply by saying, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Matthew 16:23). Jesus called Simon, Satan, because He discerned that Simon was trying to stop His purpose here on earth and it was the enemy, the devil who was using him. Simon was just trying to look out for Jesus, he didn’t mean any harm – but here was the problem – he was more mindful of the things of men than he was about the things of God. 

Can you imagine if Christ actually listened to Simon and been like ‘you know we’ve been together with Simon for a long time – through the storms and in everything, I’m gonna do what he says’...and not gone to the cross for our sake. Let me tell you where you would be, you would be deep in sin and in the world playing by Satan’s tune, broke, busted, hopeless.  Simon didn’t see the purpose of Christ going to the cross and some of us have our Simons- well-meaning people, who you trust, who look out for you but they don’t perceive the destiny that God has planted in your heart, they can’t understand the new desires and ideas God is giving you and the places He wants to take you. It’s not that you are any better than them, not at all, but God is leading you in a specific direction that maybe different from the others around you.

In the past year, I have slowly let some relationships die because they just were carnal relationships that weren’t pushing me closer to God’s best; they were mere feel-good relationships that appeased my flesh. Others I have simply outgrown them because the season is over, and guess what the well dried up- they weren’t as exciting or nourishing as they were before. In John 15, it tells us that God is our vinedresser and part of His role is to trim out overgrown or dead branches (relationships or situations) that we may bear more fruit.

We really need to stop wrestling with the Holy Spirit when He prompts us to step back or to disconnect with certain relationships- because in the end when we simply obey and not rely on our understanding or reason our way out, it will be ultimately for our good. It could be that colleague who sits next to you at work who convinces you to let ‘ live a little’ and go out drinking and partying or they be trying to convince you to go after that lady in the office and they know you are married. It could be that close friend of yours who has backslidden and she comes telling you how great her man is in bed, and she is busy planting seeds of compromise and lust in your heart and mind – and without realizing it sleeping with a man isn’t such a big deal as it was before.

Scripture tells us to guard our heart above all else, for everything you do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23).  The enemy is out to get you, to destroy that vision and to abort that assignment God has for you. He uses people around us to distract us from what God has told us to do- in a very subtle way just the way he used Eve to convince Adam to do the exact opposite of what God had clearly instructed him to do.

Fulfilling is our destiny is too important that we can’t afford to sacrifice for the sake of friendship. Here’s how I know if its time let go of some people; if all they do is plant seeds of discouragement, lust, compromising God’s word, competitiveness, envy, jealousy, perversion, bitterness or just trying to make you give up on God’s promises.

The great news is that when we actually obey the Lord and cut off some people from our lives, the LORD replaces them and brings people who push you closer to your purpose and to God. I can testify to this because they will be the real deal. So be encouraged, it may be lonely for a season but God’s plan will prove to be better than trying to hold on to  a bunch of people who are trying to sidetrack you from God’s best.

VOICE OF DESTINY

 Have you ever been in a situation where you are at a cross roads and you have no idea what to do? Maybe you are in a job that you feel very unfulfilled and your potential is being limited...or perhaps you in a situation that keeps getting worse no matter how much you pray, for instance for the healing of a loved one.

In all scenarios, circumstances, difficult situations – whatsoever you are going through – you only need ONE THING-and that is to hear the Voice of God for yourself. Really…I don’t think God talks to people like me, he probably talks to pastors and missionaries who are just interested in ministries. This is one of the biggest lie the enemy wants people to believe, especially new believers. The LORD talks with ordinary people living out ordinary lifestyles, even sinners and backsliders. I remember on several occasions when I was a backslider in my walk with GOD and I was out and about with friends on Saturday night in a club and we had finished partying and were just entering the cab –outside I was looking like I was having the time of my life ..but inside there was no peace and no joy and the subtle but firm voice of the LORD spoke inside sayin.. “ You have a big destiny  and call on your life..stop wasting it away chasing  worldly things”  The words shook me to the core of my being, and from that moment I no longer desired to go clubbing anymore or hang around people who do  because those words resounded in my mind. The Bible says, that the voice of GOD is powerful and majestic  ( Psalms 29).. its not like the voice of men..its  full of power and very distinct.

The best way to hear God’s voice is to CLEAR OUT THE DISTRACTIONS. For most of us, this means staying away from ALL social media platforms for a season – you can start off with a month- to others you need a break from all the reality shows and seasons/movies you keep track off. Instead, use this time and get to study the word – write it down, decree scripture over your life like seven times- meditate on the WORD . The best place to start is in PSALMS – I mean you can start anywhere but I think psalms is a straightforward place to begin and understand. 

Read the word until the word begins to read you. The bible says if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted (John 15:7). The more you stay in the word and in worship... the more clear His words of instruction and encouragement or correction are going to be.  Sometimes GOD may not talk in an audible voice, but perhaps through a dream or a vision or prompting to do something. I encourage you to have your senses  (you inner eye and inner ear) sensitive to whatsoever He directs you to do.. it may be as simple as the Holy Spirit prompting or nudging you to drink more water and avoiding fried foods.

 God will talk to us about anything not just spiritual things because HE is interested in even the little things about our life.  Just about a month ago, I lost one earing that fell off my ears and I really really loved the earing though it was cheap, it was special to me. So I asked God to help me find the earing ..a part of me thought GOD is too busy handling bigger issues maybe I should ask Him on more spiritual things or more serious things- but I kept on asking regardless on how silly it sounded. A week passed..and I remember telling God how I knew He could easily provide another one..more expensive..more appealing but I insisted on finding that one specific one that got lost…and later on that week as I was just sitting somewhere-  my eyes came across the little pearl earring at the furthest corner of the room. My jaw dropped to the floor ,literally! I was shocked how God could answer such a prayer and its because – HE cares about everything, even the things you consider to be non- important, He cares.

I know it may appear to hear God’s voice some times- and in those times we must be led by peace. If you don’t have peace..then don’t do it regardless of what everyone is doing or who is telling you to do it. Along the way, we learn to say NO to what people – even well-meaning people are saying to us, and even saying no to society and culture and ultimately saying no our flesh(our feelings/will/thoughts) and saying YES to the voice of GOD and to His word.

For thus saith the LORD, “I desire to guide you and show you in the way you should go. I want to show you things to come in the future. I am not a God of confusion, but I want to lead you on a straight path in every area in your life. My voice leads to peace and life – and sometimes I may lead you on a narrow path that is not popular with many and so it may not make sense at the moment – but it will lead you to your destiny. I am your Maker and I  call you by your name, don’t look to the left or the right- don’t be distracted by what  everyone is doing- but wait on me, I will NOT  fail you or disappoint you”